holden caulfield, eat your heart out

So, I realized today that I feel compelled to make sure everyone is happy. I can’t stand the thought of leaving someone out, of not inviting a person to join in on the fun. And as a result, I mix people who don’t necessarily wish to mix. I’m not really really sure why I feel responsible for everyone else, but it’s a bit Catcher in The Rye-ish: I want people to be protected from being left out. For some reason I feel like I am the world’s champion. If there is any hesitation in the room when a volunteer is needed, it is I who will gladly jump in and shoulder the burden. I can remember as a high school teacher in Nebraska how oblivious I was to my students’ relationships outside of my classroom. I tried so hard to convince them that we were all friends and all of us should care deeply about each other. It’s all dreamy-eyed bull to some, this rosy optimism. But to me, well, I really mean it. I know how foolish it sounds when I saw it out loud. I’m even slightly embarrassed at the cheese factor I force on the world. Nonetheless, I will not be stopped. I will continue to pressure people into joining the party, I will attempt to force-forge friendships were only frictions exists, and I will organize the social events of as many lives as possible. I will not bend at those scoffers who sneer at my naive wide-eyed hope.